Tag Archives: blog

Moving On

24 Nov

The other day I announced to my email list that I had started a blog. I received a message from a friend congratulating me on my “blob.” I laughed, but when I sat down to write my first entry, I froze. I couldn’t decide what to write about. I felt like a blob. I found it difficult to channel the experience, perhaps because it was difficult to relive.

I finally decided to make this entry about moving on, because at one time the thought was unimaginable. The stroke happened to me as well as to Chuck, and I thought I would never be happy again. However, I have managed to find a level of contentment and peace I never thought possible.

The first step, obviously, was to get through the crisis itself. Next was to get Chuck what he needed in terms of continued therapy, which absorbed most of my energy for the first year and was driven in part by my desire for his complete recovery. When I realized that goal was not reachable, I then had to accept it, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I had to let go of the idea of Chuck as he was before the stroke. DSCN1338_1_2.jpgThe process was very painful because that was the prize I had been reaching toward, the finish line that had kept me in the race.

I spent the next couple of years avoiding reality. We left our small town to move the city, and then back again. I missed having access the unfettered outdoors: hiking in the woods, swimming in the lake, walking in the country. However, during our “exile,” I received some gifts I would not have otherwise. The first was yoga. The second was being able to be present for a dying friend. I have I learned to find silver linings in the stormiest of clouds.

I also rediscovered my love of writing, which has helped me recover my identity. Garren Biz Card copyI began contributing to an award-winning wildlife magazine, and five years later, I wrote a book (The Chattooga River: A Natural and Cultural History) and published a manuscript, Stroke Happens.

51ZBPymvoMLMy point is that I had to actively seek contentment and fulfillment, not wait for them to find me. For a time, I lost myself in the role of caretaker and victim. I had to redefine myself, or more specifically inhabit the self I had become. The act of writing, or finding my voice, enabled me to move on while remaining in place. May everyone else in a caretaking role be able to do so, as well.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

Stroke Happens: A Resource for Survivors, Caretakers and Loved Ones

13 Jun

Welcome to my blog, Stroke Happens, a resource for anyone who has been affected by stroke. It’s also the title of my book about stroke, recovery and caretaking. If you are a stroke survivor or a caretaker, like I am, or if you are a loved one of someone who has suffered a stroke, I hope this blog will provide you with information and inspiration.

Stroke happened to us August 31, 2007, when I woke up to find my husband, Chuck, mute and paralyzed. He went to bed himself and woke up a different person, in effect. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, we had started out on a journey that would test the limits of love and endurance.

Chuck Self Portrait

Along the way, I learned many things only after I really needed the information. One of my goals in my Stroke Happens blog is to provide answers to questions that the reader hasn’t asked yet. I want to help other stroke survivors and their caretakers to avoid some of the obstacles I faced. I want to offer support to those who are dealing with stroke and its aftermath, to show that happiness is possible even after the most dramatic losses imaginable.

I hope you will find this website informative, entertaining and helpful. I also have a Facebook page by the same name (Stroke Happens); please check it out and click, “like.” Thanks for reading.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

 

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