Tag Archives: recovery

Let Me Tell You About My Book

25 Oct

Stroke Happens: A Caretaker’s Memoir tells the story of my husband’s stroke and my role as his caretaker after he suffered a massive stroke in 2007, at the age of 56. I decided to self-publish through Amazon because, after submitting the manuscript to more than 30 publishing companies, I couldn’t get anyone to read it. (I still wonder, “Why do publishers have submission guidelines on their websites if they weren’t even going to look at submissions?” I still don’t have an answer.)

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Finally, I overcame my reservations about self-publishing, realizing I have nothing to prove since I published The Chattooga River: A Natural and Cultural History (2013) through The History Press.

If you follow my blog and find it helpful, please read my book for more a detailed account of my journey through the tumultuous emotional landscape of stroke recovery. I hope my experience can help others find answers, feel validated and reach acceptance in their role as a caretaker; or simply be informed by my description of one aspect of the human condition

Thank you for reading. Best, Laura Ann Garren

 

Moving On

24 Nov

The other day I announced to my email list that I had started a blog. I received a message from a friend congratulating me on my “blob.” I laughed, but when I sat down to write my first entry, I froze. I couldn’t decide what to write about. I felt like a blob. I found it difficult to channel the experience, perhaps because it was difficult to relive.

I finally decided to make this entry about moving on, because at one time the thought was unimaginable. The stroke happened to me as well as to Chuck, and I thought I would never be happy again. However, I have managed to find a level of contentment and peace I never thought possible.

The first step, obviously, was to get through the crisis itself. Next was to get Chuck what he needed in terms of continued therapy, which absorbed most of my energy for the first year and was driven in part by my desire for his complete recovery. When I realized that goal was not reachable, I then had to accept it, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I had to let go of the idea of Chuck as he was before the stroke. DSCN1338_1_2.jpgThe process was very painful because that was the prize I had been reaching toward, the finish line that had kept me in the race.

I spent the next couple of years avoiding reality. We left our small town to move the city, and then back again. I missed having access the unfettered outdoors: hiking in the woods, swimming in the lake, walking in the country. However, during our “exile,” I received some gifts I would not have otherwise. The first was yoga. The second was being able to be present for a dying friend. I have I learned to find silver linings in the stormiest of clouds.

I also rediscovered my love of writing, which has helped me recover my identity. Garren Biz Card copyI began contributing to an award-winning wildlife magazine, and five years later, I wrote a book (The Chattooga River: A Natural and Cultural History) and published a manuscript, Stroke Happens.

51ZBPymvoMLMy point is that I had to actively seek contentment and fulfillment, not wait for them to find me. For a time, I lost myself in the role of caretaker and victim. I had to redefine myself, or more specifically inhabit the self I had become. The act of writing, or finding my voice, enabled me to move on while remaining in place. May everyone else in a caretaking role be able to do so, as well.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

Your Best Resource is You

21 Nov

Your loved one has just suffered a stroke. You’re overwhelmed. What should you do, and when? In an effort to assist others who find themselves in this position, I’ve compiled a list of things I did, as well as what I wish I’d done, after the initial crisis.  Keep in mind that this list constitutes my opinions based on my experience as a caretaker.

1. Get the best medical care available. Make sure a neurologist is on staff. Some hospitals don’t have one, believe it or not. If yours does not, transfer your loved one to a hospital that does.

2. Apply for Social Security Disability Income immediately, even if you think your loved one won’t need it. Benefits don’t start until five months after APPLICATION, not date of disability, with no retro activity.

3. Demand that therapy start as soon as your loved one is out of immediate danger. Anticipate therapy after hospitalization and start making calls as soon as possible; every facility will have a waiting list, and you want to get your loved one on it as soon as possible.

4. Do not be afraid to dismiss a therapist you or your loved one doesn’t like, for whatever reason.

5. Research treatment options; don’t depend on the experts to know everything. Find out if any clinical trials are running, or where the best therapy is for specific conditions, such as aphasia.

6. Create an email list of family, friends and colleagues so that you can communicate about your loved one’s condition and ask for help when you need it.

7. Create an email list, website or phone tree in order to corral help when you need, then don’t be afraid to ask. People want to help but often don’t know how. Tell them, whether it’s food, a ride to the hospital, someone else to visit your loved one so you can take a break, or just a kind word. Caretaking is a grind, and you may be doing it for a long time, so pace yourself.

8. Wallow in self-pity (aka express your feelings about the situation), but try not to act out; do take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well, don’t misue alcohol or drugs. If you feel depressed, ask your family physician to prescribe meds.

9. Read everything you can get your hands on about stroke: books, magazines, articles, both in print and on line.

10. Start a journal in which you can record events, as well as your feelings. In the chaotic aftermath of a stroke, you may forget things, so it helps to write them down. Also, sometimes you might not realize how you’re feeling until you write it down.

11. Anticipate what your loved one will need upon coming home. Ask the therapists what these might be: a handicap ramp; removal of rugs that might cause tripping; shower seat; etc.

I hope this has been helpful. If you would like a fuller account of my caretaking experience, please read my book, Stroke Happens.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

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Stroke Happens: A Resource for Survivors, Caretakers and Loved Ones

13 Jun

Welcome to my blog, Stroke Happens, a resource for anyone who has been affected by stroke. It’s also the title of my book about stroke, recovery and caretaking. If you are a stroke survivor or a caretaker, like I am, or if you are a loved one of someone who has suffered a stroke, I hope this blog will provide you with information and inspiration.

Stroke happened to us August 31, 2007, when I woke up to find my husband, Chuck, mute and paralyzed. He went to bed himself and woke up a different person, in effect. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, we had started out on a journey that would test the limits of love and endurance.

Chuck Self Portrait

Along the way, I learned many things only after I really needed the information. One of my goals in my Stroke Happens blog is to provide answers to questions that the reader hasn’t asked yet. I want to help other stroke survivors and their caretakers to avoid some of the obstacles I faced. I want to offer support to those who are dealing with stroke and its aftermath, to show that happiness is possible even after the most dramatic losses imaginable.

I hope you will find this website informative, entertaining and helpful. I also have a Facebook page by the same name (Stroke Happens); please check it out and click, “like.” Thanks for reading.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

 

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