Tag Archives: writing

Taking Care of the Caretaker

1 Jul

Here’s what happens when I have a flareup of my IBS/fibromyalgia. I awake exhausted, barely able to get out of bed. Everything hurts. My gut roils. I don’t feel that way every day, but when I do I can barely function. I have suffered bouts of increasing frequency, intensity and duration since summer of 2018, and so have had to ramp up my efforts to find effective treatment.

I can manage my symptoms, to a degree. Controlling stress is paramount, because it can trigger flare-ups. I maintain a very restrictive diet, which entails avoiding certain “trigger” foods that contain FODMAPs. These include a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, sauces, dressings, mixed spices, bread, cake, cereal, crackers, pasta, almost any processed food. I willingly forego eating what I know will make me sick; the problem is that triggers often lurk in other, seeming “safe” foods. One slip and I am sidelined for days.

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My doctor, Doug, has been very helpful. He referred me to two gastroenterologists,  neither of whom addressed my main concern, the IBS. Both wanted to order an expensive, invasive test to “rule out celiac”; I requested a test for Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth (SIBO), but neither would order it, so I got a home testing kit. The results were positive. Doug prescribed Xifaxan, an antibiotic that kills only the bad bacteria in the gut. I stayed fairly well for a few months, but my symptoms eventually returned. Due to the danger of resistance, repeated courses of any antibiotic are discouraged, so I had to consider other options.

Doug ended up referring me to the Mayo Clinic Gastroenterology Department (Arizona campus) where I can consult with IBS specialists. The cost of air fare, lodging, transportation, incidents and out-of-pocket medical expenses are high, but thanks to my wonderful support system, I have managed to raise funds for the trip. (I set up a crowd fundraiser through Go Fund Me.)

Thanks for reading and, to all who have helped me past, present and future. I couldn’t take care of myself, or Chuck, without you!

Best, Laura Ann Garren

 

 

Let Me Tell You About My Book

25 Oct

Stroke Happens: A Caretaker’s Memoir tells the story of my husband’s stroke and my role as his caretaker after he suffered a massive stroke in 2007, at the age of 56. I decided to self-publish through Amazon because, after submitting the manuscript to more than 30 publishing companies, I couldn’t get anyone to read it. (I still wonder, “Why do publishers have submission guidelines on their websites if they weren’t even going to look at submissions?” I still don’t have an answer.)

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Finally, I overcame my reservations about self-publishing, realizing I have nothing to prove since I published The Chattooga River: A Natural and Cultural History (2013) through The History Press.

If you follow my blog and find it helpful, please read my book for more a detailed account of my journey through the tumultuous emotional landscape of stroke recovery. I hope my experience can help others find answers, feel validated and reach acceptance in their role as a caretaker; or simply be informed by my description of one aspect of the human condition

Thank you for reading. Best, Laura Ann Garren

 

Moving On

24 Nov

The other day I announced to my email list that I had started a blog. I received a message from a friend congratulating me on my “blob.” I laughed, but when I sat down to write my first entry, I froze. I couldn’t decide what to write about. I felt like a blob. I found it difficult to channel the experience, perhaps because it was difficult to relive.

I finally decided to make this entry about moving on, because at one time the thought was unimaginable. The stroke happened to me as well as to Chuck, and I thought I would never be happy again. However, I have managed to find a level of contentment and peace I never thought possible.

The first step, obviously, was to get through the crisis itself. Next was to get Chuck what he needed in terms of continued therapy, which absorbed most of my energy for the first year and was driven in part by my desire for his complete recovery. When I realized that goal was not reachable, I then had to accept it, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I had to let go of the idea of Chuck as he was before the stroke. DSCN1338_1_2.jpgThe process was very painful because that was the prize I had been reaching toward, the finish line that had kept me in the race.

I spent the next couple of years avoiding reality. We left our small town to move the city, and then back again. I missed having access the unfettered outdoors: hiking in the woods, swimming in the lake, walking in the country. However, during our “exile,” I received some gifts I would not have otherwise. The first was yoga. The second was being able to be present for a dying friend. I have I learned to find silver linings in the stormiest of clouds.

I also rediscovered my love of writing, which has helped me recover my identity. Garren Biz Card copyI began contributing to an award-winning wildlife magazine, and five years later, I wrote a book (The Chattooga River: A Natural and Cultural History) and published a manuscript, Stroke Happens.

51ZBPymvoMLMy point is that I had to actively seek contentment and fulfillment, not wait for them to find me. For a time, I lost myself in the role of caretaker and victim. I had to redefine myself, or more specifically inhabit the self I had become. The act of writing, or finding my voice, enabled me to move on while remaining in place. May everyone else in a caretaking role be able to do so, as well.

Best, Laura Ann Garren

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